IT TAKES A VILLAGE

(Previously: THE ART OF COMPROMISE)

Jack Rory was exhausted. The baby, it turned out, was a lot of work. While Destiny had many delectable qualities, it was increasingly apparent that maternal instincts were not among them. And Karen, true to her word, seemed to have vanished entirely.

JR_tired

He felt as if he hadn’t slept in days. No sooner would he doze off…

JR_asleep

..than Destiny would bounce in the door from work, eager for his attentions…

JR_nosex

…or the baby would wail because she was hungry…

JR_babycrying

 

…or because she had a dirty diaper…

JR_stinkybaby

…or just because.

JR_makeitshutup

He had to admit, it was taking a serious toll on their relationship. The last time he had stopped by Destiny’s work, she’d pretended not to know who he was, and a pair of muscular bouncers had escorted him off the premises.

JR_destinydiss

When she got home later, she’d pretended it had all been a joke, but he knew she’d done it out of spite.

It was time to acknowledge that he couldn’t do it all alone. He needed help in order to survive. So he drafted an ad and posted it on Craigslist.

Seeking Experienced Nanny for one adorable baby, the ad read. Must be kind, must be witty. Very sweet and fairly pretty. If you want this choice position, have a cheery disposition. Rosy cheeks, no warts. Play games, all sorts. Hurry, Nanny, many thanks. – Jack Rory. 

The second Jack Rory posted his listing,  a strong wind began howling outside. He looked out the window only to see a most curious sight.

JR_marypoppins

An instant later, there came an insistent knocking at the front door. Jack Rory froze. There it was again. Whoever was at the door was now pounding on it so forcefully that it was rattling in its frame. The baby woke from her nap and began to wail. Finally, Jack Rory threw his hands up in resignation and went to answer the door.

As he had suspected, it was the woman who had just descended from the sky by umbrella.

JR_Mary-Poppins

“Allow me to introduce myself. I am Mary Poppins,” she said. “You are Jack Rory, are you not?”

“Ummm, well, yeah, I suppose, I am,” a tongue-tied Jack Rory replied.

“I’ve come for the nanny position,” Mary Poppins announced.

“Already?” Jack Rory asked in surprise. “Um, OK. I’m kind of new to this. Do you have some references I could check?

“Oh, I make it a point never to give references,” Mary Poppins replied. “But I do have rosy cheeks.”

Mary Poppins

She stalked over to the baby’s crib and glared at the wailing infant.

“Spit spot, no more tears!” she snapped. The baby clammed up immediately.

“That…that was amazing,” Jack Rory said in awe. “How did you do that?”

“I never explain anything,” Mary Poppins said briskly. “We’re off to the park.”

Jack Rory was befuddled. Had he actually offered her the job? Yet, there she went, the baby slung over her shoulder, just as Destiny was coming up the sidewalk.

JR_marypoppinspark

“Who was that?” Destiny asked.

“That,” Jack Rory replied, “was our new nanny.”

Already he felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Advertisements

About TERRIBLE THINGS

I'm Sarah. I like to write things. Terrible things. I'm available to write terrible things for you. You can contact me at terriblethingshavehappened.gmail.com.
This entry was posted in Jack Rory and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s